oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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