I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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