A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
