Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
