He is an equal opportunity slut.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
