remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
