Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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(310): View more from California

my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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(858): View more from California

Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.

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(509): View more from Washington

You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.

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(443): View more from Maryland

LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES

(301): View more from Maryland

N O

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