you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
