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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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