Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
