I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
