so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
