Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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