I hate your face
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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