sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize