Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
