She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
As shirtless as possible
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
