Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
