So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
