Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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