if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
