operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
