party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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