Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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