OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
