just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
