VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
