I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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