There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
