Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
