Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You pole danced in your parka.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize