i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
