PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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