So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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