Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
