My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
