either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
