just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
