i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
