This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize