I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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