areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
