I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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