I wish you could order shots online.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
