Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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