God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
