By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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