She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
