well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is wine microwaveable?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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