A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
