why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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