Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
