I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
