i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
