i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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