new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
