apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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