True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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