Who did Billy Mays play for?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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