I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize