She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
