why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
