I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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