so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
