Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
