My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
