you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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