I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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