Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
