highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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