So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
